Original Source: Sandra Steingraber, “Pesticides, Animals, and Humans,” p. 976.
In 1938, in a series of now-classic experiments, exposure to synthetic dyes derived from coal and belonging to a class of chemicals called aromatic amines was shown to cause bladder cancer in dogs. These results helped explain why bladder cancer had become so prevalent among dyestuffs workers. With the invention of mauve in 1854, synthetic dyes began replacing natural plant-based dyes in the coloring of cloth and leather. By the beginning of the twentieth century, bladder cancer rates among this group of workers had skyrocketed, and the dog experiments helped unravel this mystery
Unacceptable Paraphrase: Wording Too Close
Now-classic experiments in 1938 showed that when dogs were exposed to aromatic amines, chemicals used in synthetic dyes derived from coal, they developed bladder cancer. Similar cancers were prevalent among dyestuffs workers, and these experiments helped to explain why. Mauve, a synthetic dye, was invented in 1854, after which cloth and leather manufacturers, replaced most of the natural plant-based dyes with synthetic dyes. By the early twentieth century, this group of workers had skyrocketing rates of bladder cancer, a mystery the dog experiments helped to unravel (Steingraber 976)
Unacceptable Paraphrase: Sentence Structure Too Close
In 1938, several path-breaking experiments showed that being exposed to synthetic dyes that are made from coal and belong to a type of chemicals called aromatic amines caused dog to get bladder cancer. These results helped researchers identify why cancers of the bladder had become so common among textile workers who worked with dyes. With the development of mauve in 1854, synthetic dyes began to be used instead of dyes based on plants in the dyeing of leather and cloth. By the end of the nineteenth century, rates of bladder cancer among these workers had increased dramatically, and the experiments using dogs helped clear up this oddity (Steingraber 976).
What is your version?
Change not only word choices but also sentence structures. You can also add some parts which you think more important, or remove some parts which you think less important.
[my version] Sandra Steingraber’s “Pesticides, Animals, and Humans” can be a good reference to start this discussion. She notes that the correlation between bladder cancer and workers who have to use dye materials was revealed thanks to several experiments conducted in 1938. According to these experiments, the main cause of bladder cancer in dogs turned out to be “synthetic dyes”. Before these experiments were carried out, argues she, nobody was able to explain why more and more workers using dyestuffs were diagnosed with bladder cancer from the early twentieth century. However, the experiments help understand the increasing number of bladder cancer patients among textile workers based on the fact that “synthetic dyes” started to be widely used for dying cloth since mauve was invented in 1854 (976).
Verbs for Introducing Summaries and Quotations
(retrieved from They Say, I Say, chapter 2 & 3)
Making a claim
argue assert believe claim emphasize
insist observe remind us report suggest
acknowledge endorse admire celebrate the fact that agree
extol praise corroborate verify support
complain complicate contradict contend deny reject
refute reject question repudiate
advocate plead recommend demand warn urge
Encourage call for
Templates for introducing quotations
– X states, “ “.
– As the prominent philosopher X puts it, “ “.
– According to X, “ “.
– In her book, _______, X maintains that “ “.
– In X’s view, “ “.
– Writing in the journal Commentary, X complains that “ “.
– X agrees/disagrees when he writes, “ “.
– X complicates matters further when she writes, “ “.
Templates for explaining quotations
– X is warning that the proposed solution will only make the problem worse.
– In making this comment, X believes _________.
– In other words, X urges us to _________.
– X’s point is that _________.
– The essence of X’s argument is that ____________.